I realized, with some dismay, that I haven't touched my website in a month. Life, as it happens, reared its ugly head with a vengeance.
For one thing, I've gotten a job at the campus library. I'm a staff writer and copyeditor in the internal marketing department. It's not quite the job I expected when I applied, so that's taken some getting used to. This has been both a good and a bad thing. My Monday through Friday is now spent wandering the weird, lonely guts of the library where students don't usually get to go, drifting from office to office on various odd errands.
The job is very quiet; that's taken some getting used to, as well.
The semester is also beginning to winding down as we march on towards the holiday season. I have stacks of papers to write and stacks of books to read. I have research to do and films to watch. I have A's in all my classes and I intend to keep it that way. On top of all this, I have two Crashers books I'm in the middle of writing and editing, and a third I've been poking at periodically. And a fourth, an unrelated horror title, because I hate free time. I'm writing other things on the side, too. It's a silly endeavor - just for fun, and for a very limited audience - but I'm enjoying it.
These days, however, if I'm not reading, I'm writing. If I'm not writing, I'm editing. It's all beginning to blur.
With so much happening, I find I don't have time for comics anymore. When it dawned on me that I was almost two months behind on nearly all my titles, I thought I would be stressed. It turns out I wasn't. I've already stepped away from comics reviewing and writing, for the sake of my own sanity and scheduling. I'm finding I miss that less and less. I miss podcasting less and less. I miss the constant anxiety and exhaustion less and less.
I do miss the people, though, and the sense of community. It's a bit lonely, but it's far less stressful. As I'm trying to remind myself everyday: if you don't love doing something, then don't do it.
During the weekends, I stay indoors and work on projects. During the weekdays, I live on campus, rushing between work and school. I can't remember the last time I went out with friends. My only outlet is genre television, Amazon Prime, and my increasing reliance on the warm, comforting glow of Tumblr. I'm trying to watch more documentaries, engage with more art films, and read more academic texts. I want to involve myself less in the soul-crushing daily grind of pop culture and focus on my primary interests in art, literature, and philosophy. I'm still considering graduate school.
None of this is exciting. This isn't a sad cry for help, either. 2015 has been a roller coaster of the highest order. Now it seems to be coming together into something resembling the shape of an adult life, which I've never had before. All of this takes some time to get used to.
I have no idea what I'm doing next month, once classes are done and I'm on break from the library between semesters. I want to write some essays, on various topics ranging from art history to pop culture. (I plan for them to be in the same vein as the one I recently did on Hannibal. Okay, spoilers: it may just be another Hannibal essay. I really love Hannibal and I have a lot of feelings.) I want to work on my various books. I want to enjoy my time off.
I just have to get there, and I'll feel much better.